Our Pawfect Wedding: Waiting it Out

After a quick stop at home to pick up that marriage license thingie that the church needs, we were at the church. Mr Pug stayed outside and greeted some of our groomsmen, friends, and family.

"Oh Hi! I'm Mr Pug!"

And here's my wonderful father in law, walking into the church.

Best Man Dan checked out the lovely programs I made. I like to pretend he was admiring them but Mr P said he was reading them dramatically aloud. Nice.

Meanwhile... I was having a bridezilla meltdown. I came in the church and saw something rude that really upset me. Just a guest who, whether she meant to or not, made me lose my cool and get frantic.

I just stormed around setting everything up. Here's my sister M helping me. Check out the look on her face below! She's like... "hellllllpppppp...." as I clearly bitch on and on with no end in sight.

Seriously look, I couldn't even take a real picture with Best Man Dan.

Mr P was cool as a cucumber though! He hung out with groomsman Z. Very Buddy Jesus of them.

Groomsman Z and his sister, Lyd, who is one of my best friends in Indy. She did a reading at the wedding.

Our guests poured in. I love this picture that captured friends WB and Hil in a hilarious pose.

I needed someone to cool me down. Who could I go to? MY MOM, duh.

I got a picture with my mom and my uncle Bill.

My mom is so positive and helped me block out the drama and hurt feelings. With her help, I was ready to walk down the aisle!

Wedding Tragedy...

I got the pictures! And will post more recaps for tonight or tomorrow. But I wanted to really bring everyone into what's important...

I'm sure everyone has things that would make their wedding "horrible" like a guest wearing white, or your parent getting too drunk and telling embarrassing stories.

Yesterday, here in Indianapolis, there was a true worst case scenario that changed a would-be happy wedding day.

You can read about it here or here, but I'm typing the text in from the IndyStar.com version, in case the link dies out eventually.

Despite sorrow, bandages, bruises and cuts, the wedding party persevered, with the couple exchanging vows later in the day in a conference area of Methodist Hospital's emergency room.

While they made the best of the situation, those at the wedding said they did not want to dwell on the tragic crash and death with the media.

A shuttle bus from Mavris Arts & Event Center carrying the bridal party was westbound on South Street when it collided at Delaware Street with a northbound Chevrolet Yukon with an Ohio license plate about 2 p.m.

The Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department said that one driver failed to stop for a red light, but police still were investigating late today to determine who was at fault, said Lt. Jeff Duhamell, an IMPD spokesman.

The crash caused the bus to spin to face east and tip to the side, landing on the northwest corner of the intersection. At least 16 people inside the shuttle were transported to Methodist and Wishard hospitals.

James Douglass, 29, died in the crash. He suffered severe head trauma, Duhamell said. It could not be immediately confirmed his community of residence.

Police by late today had not yet released the names of the drivers or of those injured. Blood samples will be taken from both drivers and tested for intoxication, which is protocol in a fatal crash, Duhamell said.

The bride works in IMPD's crime analysis unit, Duhamell said.

The wedding had been scheduled for 5:30 p.m. today at Mavris, 121 S. East St. After the hospital wedding, the party did go there for a prayer service and dinner.

At the wedding, nurses transformed into wedding planners, gathering cookies and punch, setting up chairs and using hydrogen peroxide to get bloodstains out of dresses.

Carrying gerbera daisy bouquets, the bridesmaids and bride all wore hospital-issued socks, captured in a photo by the wedding photographer.

About 100 teary-eyed guests gathered for the short ceremony, where the bride and groom exchanged vows, rings and received a standing ovation when they kissed.

‘‘We got their medical needs tended to, and we found out they wanted to get married here,’’ said Kelly Owens, an emergency room nurse.

Owens’ husband went to pick up a replacement tuxedo for the groom while security officers from Methodist went to Wishard to pick up the best man and rings.

‘‘I’ve been here 10 years,’’ Owens said. ‘‘I’ve seen one or two brides come in, but this is definitely the first time we’ve done a wedding. It makes the best of a bad situation.’’

The bride’s father Chuck Magee, Dublin, Ohio, called the nurses ‘‘angels in blue’’ because of their blue scrubs.‘‘The ER staff has just been compassionate, professional and considerate,’’ Magee said. ‘‘Everybody seems to be in as good of spirits as can be expected.’’

I really cannot imagine losing a groomsman on my wedding day. This story should give all brides, and really all people, something to think of and put weddings in perspective.

All text in italics from IndyStar.com's "Wedding goes on -- at hospital -- after fatal crash" By Gretchen Becker, linked above.

Our Fittings!

Miss Pug here, coming to you from womp-ville. Oh boy am I ever feeling icky. I had a 1/2 hour personal training session yesterday, which led me to discover leg muscles I didn't know existed. I can barely walk. Add to that a nasty cold that Mr Pug shared with me, and I'm down for the count.

Luckily, Saturday's drama worked out. I think all parties involved are getting better at conflict resolution- thank goodness. So now that I'm all happy (albeit sick) I can post about our fittings!

I brought my dress to the lovely Sonia. She had me put it on and I got compliments from the waiting patrons... definitely made me excited! Here I am pre-pinning.

(Mr P promised to not look at my blog - I don't think he does in general - so I could post these!)

Stephanie lent me her crinoline which fit perfectly! My something borrowed, yay!

Sonia took the next two pictures of me, can you tell she's about four foot eight?

My alterations are really easy and only cost $72. LOVE corset-back dresses! The boobage needed to be taken in a ton (and I'm a double-D so that's um, surprising) and I needed to bustle the back (no pictures of that yet, sorry!)

I also decided on my hair... I'm going to do the same thing but just put to the side a bit instead of a poof, with this birdcage veil, ALSO borrowed from Steph!

Self portrait much?

It felt so great to know I'm almost there!

We got home, and though drama ensued, we still went to do the tux fitting. Mr P looked so handsome!

We decided on the sage color, even though it's lighter than our green it was the closest and pretty nicely subdued. However we'll do a black vest with it. The handsome hubby's going white tie and vest.Mr Pug kept saying how "painless" it was to pick out and rent tuxes! He emailed his dudes and we're all set.

So yea, it took us forever, but... we got it done! I can't believe it! I would ask you all when you took care of your fittings but invariably the answer will be "wayyy earlier than you, Miss Pug" and then I'll cry a little and we don't need that.

Oh stay tuned, I'll be showing you some fantastic outfits you all haven't seen yet... any guesses?

And back to blaughhhhh. Oh and Cake Balls AGAIN.

Today started out great. I went to my first dress fitting, and we planned Mr Pug's fitting to be later today. We also got Sophie (our fawn puggie) all set on her shots - 1 down, 2 to go!

Then we were let down majorly, again, by family members. I won't go into it, I'm not going to bash or bitch or complain. I do enough of that. This process has shown Mr P and myself a lot about certain peoples' character. I'm hoping that the day will get better, we'll have apologies and reconciliations, and all will be well. Basically if you want to know more, you're probably following me on twitter or gchat me already, and I suggest you do just that.

Since we're on a negative note right now, I'm not in the mood to post about my dress and the tuxes. But I have a few negative-nancy-type things to discuss so now or never, right!?

First of all- my worst nightmare happened. And probably your worst nightmare too... invites not getting delivered. I got my sister M's back right away, and that was understandable since she had just moved into her Manhattan apartment. Fast forward, our RSVPs were "due" last Friday, and I started contacting friends last week to check if they were coming. One of my sorority sisters responded saying: "We received your adorable Save the Date but I wasn't sure if there was an invitation coming. I want to apologize if you have been waiting on us." What a kind and eloquent way to put it, I give her credit... HOW EMBARRASSING! The invite never got delivered to her and never came back to me. (I double checked my label documents, and there was one printed.)

Then yesterday, I got a "return to sender" from ANOTHER sorority sister! Sent January 12, returned February 26?

Postal WTF FAIL. Something to keep in mind when catching up on non-sent RSVPs.

Another thing that's been heavy on my mind: Mr Pug expressed last week that he's worried about people judging or talking badly about our wedding. I understand... all his friends are having and have had beautiful great weddings, and we aren't offering near as much to our beloved guests. Of course they all know the story of what happened, and aren't judging US. When Mr P shared this fear, I brought up a recent wedding of a friend, and asked him if he would have gone if they didn't have a reception. He said of course yes, and that he'd be happy for them. (Which I assume is how any normal person would feel.) I don't blame him for feeling pooped about the wedding. The whole process has been kind of a huge let down and disappointment, and it's hit Mr P especially hard. His bachelor party is this weekend and I hope it'll pump him up about how fun our wedding can and WILL be. It makes me mad that we have to feel these things because of other peoples' thoughtlessness.

I do have SOME good news to share... Mr P's co-best man, A, will turn 28 during the bachelor party next weekend. We decided to throw him a surprise party last night! He is obsessed with cake balls and is basically the reason I bring them around so often. So his girlfriend and the couple hosting the party helped me make them on Thursday night.

Mr P and I arrived early last night and made A a "cake ball cake!" I made those little flags in photoshop. This was just a Styrofoam cone, stuck on cardboard and covered with tin foil. The cake balls are stuck in with toothpicks.

I love it!

A's girlfriend and I shoved in some candles so we could sing and make it really "birthday cake"- like. I wish I had a picture with the candles lit.

It was a great party with wonderful company! A was absolutely shocked.

My last happy announcement is that I gave notice yesterday at my job. I am starting a new job in a week! March 8 will be my first day. It's a much more stable, national company - with benefits! I am excited to start my new job and get two weeks down before my honeymoon. They're very eager to get me started and are being really flexible about time off for my honeymoon. I'm really lucky to have such a great opportunity come through!

Mr Pug is on the phone dealing with more of said drama. :( Off back to crazyland and hopefully I'll have a happy post soon!

Let's Get Real

Ok I'm getting real with you. I am STRESSED OUT. Saturday is the one month mark. And I still haven't gotten my dress altered. (Insert Freak Out Here)

Why? Um because I didn't have shoes, a bra, or crinoline. I just purchased shoes and a bra this week, but I still don't have a crinoline. I have been looking for them used but no luck - I am trying not to shell out the money for a new one. Also, I am borderline plus size (top of normal sizes or bottom of plus-sizes) and that makes it hard. I could cry over this... but there's no getting my dress altered without it, since a crinoline can alter the length of your dress up a bit.

I am also freaking out about boarding our dogs and about finding a bolero... oh and about actually being able to make an appointment to pick out tuxes (we haven't) but that's another story.

And last but not least, I am freaking out about my reception dress. Since we don't have a formal reception I knew I'd change, but had no luck with short white dresses being under $100. I branched out to black and white, and found this one:

It's perfect, right? The only thing is, I'm not sure about the shape. I'm a very curvy girl and shifts don't tend to look awesome on me. Andddd it's not in any stores near me. (View the dress here, Macy's.)

Then I found this one, which looked grey but upon further inspection was a black and white print:

This wrap-like shape looks great on me. But it's more plain, more blah. It's also not in any stores near me. I would wear it more often after the wedding than the above one, but it just doesn't scream "statement" like the first. (View the dress here, Macy's.)

I really wish I had the money to order both, try them on, then return one. Darn it! What do you all think? Especially those of you who know my body shape.

I really wish I had girlfriends or my Mom here to calm me down.

Fill in the Blanks & Name Change!

I was very excited to win something this morning! Name Change Express is doing giveaways (one Name Change Kit given away for every 300 followers they get!) and I signed onto twitter this AM to see this:

WHICH IS GREAT! Except that... they don't follow me. So I can't DM them. (Direct Message, for you non-tweeters.) THUS began my quest to hit them at every social media outlet. I tweeted that I couldn't DM them, I commented on their Facebook, and sent them a message via their website. HOPEFULLY... I will be getting my Name Change Kit! Keep those fingers crossed, guys.

I also read this great fill-in-the-blank thing on Cole's blog, Love and Happiness. Check it out here, and here's mine!

1. If I weren't a glorified secretary I'd love to be a dog photographer, event planner, or cupcake baker. Or maybe a teacher.

2. When I'm super upset I cannot think about anything else, and cry, cry, cry my eyes out.

3. My favorite thing about myself is my humor. When it works, it's great. When I make myself laugh, I'm ecstatic. When I make others laugh, I succeed.

4. If I found a $100 in the pocket of last winter's coat I'd spend it on wedding stuff, of course! But after the wedding, it would be spent on crafty stuff or a dinner/night out with Mr Pug.

5. Even though some people might consider this a flaw, I love that I am from Jersey, loud and proud. I am much more shy after years in Indiana, but I will never apologize for my out-of-control, quirky, certifiable excitability. And loudness.

6. I love the way I feel when Mr Pug tells me how beautiful I look, or how proud of me he is.

7. I love my hair most when it's shorter and THICK THICK THICK!

Grab that fill-in-the-blanks if you want it! And hope that I get the Name Change Kit and won't be stuck with my manly last name forever!

2 Month FREAKOUT

Today is huge. Today, I enter absolute freak-out mode. Today... is the two month mark.

source

Wasn't I blogging about six months just yesterday? Le sigh. I wish that was truly a peace sign and not a sick twisted countdown.

We've gotten in some RSVP cards, probably about 10. The first few were Indy people who know Mr Pug, so they were yes's. However I got a bunch of NO's from people near and dear to me yesterday. I have a feeling this part is going to suck a bit. However I'll just have to look forward MAJORLY to our summer celebrations.

Since it is always on my mind, I made a list of things I have left to do for the wedding. Thanks to Ashley at Bride on a Budget and Em at Burning River Bride for sharing their to-do lists, they were super helpful! I'm going to list my to-do list here, and yea... normally, I HATE that. If they are long (which mine is) sometimes I'll just skim. But if you are a reader, and know me, and want to help, could you please read it and tell me what I might be missing? I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Ok, here goes! (Oh and before you read, I should tell you that one of my dear dear friends will be making our cake (YAY!) and one of Mr Pug's friends offered to host an after party at his house if the guest list isn't too big. I haven't talked about those yet, so I wanted to mention them briefly to avoid confusion.)

To-Do List

-Pick out shoes (must do before fitting!)
-Pick out clutch
-After-party dress (NO idea what color/style/where)
-Bolero jacket (buy one if WB reader's doesn't fit)
-Get appropriate dress undergarments!
-Get my dress fitted... yikesssssss!
-Hair trial
-Find/book a makeup artist
-Tuxes for the boys (find a place, get B measured)
-Gifts for groomsmen/ushers
-Buy the nail polish for BM gifts
-FIND/buy the pashminas for BM gifts
-Look into hoodies for BMs for getting ready
-Assemble BM gifts in bags
-Gift for my mom? Maybe a fun patterned pashmina to go with her dress?
-Finalize photography schedule
-Figure out WHERE we're taking pictures
-Determine who is coming and talk to them about splitting a small party bus/van thing
-If above doesn't work, figure out how everyone is getting everywhere (many ppl can't rent cars and I need to have recommendations)
-BOARDING FOR PUGS (Sweet $$)
-Finalize cake plans with Laura (who is making it for us)
-Send final #'s to Buca
-Make programs (I just had a panic attack realizing I have to do that)
-Determine what's going in the OOT gift bags, and how many (Indy popcorn, maybe chocolates from South Bend Choc Co)
-Put together OOT bags and deliver to hotel
-Finalize church decor
-Finalize the service (readings, order, script)
-Confirm organist & music choices
-Buy B's ring & get engraved
-Get rings dipped and soldered together
-Get stand-in cheap ring for few days before while mine is being soldered
-Determine guest count and give to MH & RS to figure out if we can have our after-party at their house
-Notify guests where the after party will be
-Send invitations to guests who will be invited to Buca (immediate family & wedding party)
-Frame the pug print with matte for signing (& get pen)
-Find out about easel for pug print - rent/borrow if necessary
-Find holders for the programs and photo cards
-Schedule nail appointment for that day
-Highlight appointment for hair week of wedding
-Birdhouse for gift cards for the church
-Teeth whitening
-B haircut weekend before wedding
-Notify Wedding Party about rehearsal time & dinner situation after (that we aren't paying but we're going to Cancun and anyone is welcome to join us)
-Cake cutting - will Buca provide or do we need a set?
-Music playlist for getting ready - see if Omni has a iPod plug in?
-Make sure documents are ready (passports!) in a safe spot for HM
-Book haircut appointment for day after wedding (PWC)
-Make or buy pug caketoppers

Basically, a lot depends on finding my dress for the after party. I'm about a 16 in dresses right now, which is hard, because it's either the biggest size in a store, or the smallest in plus size stores, and sometimes isn't carried. I would LOVE it to be white but black & white or a green would be fine. Also, I hate tight dresses. Any recommendations would be great. Once I have that, I can pick my shoes and bag, and once I have shoes, I can get my dress fitted... all hinges on this stupid dress. GAH!

Thanks for not calling me psycho, guys!

Also, I added a really cool little bot to the right. It's my formspring site, you know, that thing everyone has where you can ask anonymous questions? I've gotten a bunch via twitter (FOLLOW ME!), but feel free to ask away or just view my answered questions. Like for example, if you wondered if I was like those people on the Jersey Shore show back when I was in Jersey and went to the shore?

That tan is 100% all natural, baby. And I'm loving my pink eyeshadow. Circa 2004 in a house we rented in Seaside right next to the water park. Sweet goodness I am showing a lot of skin! My friends' faces have been masked to protect the innocent!

New Year's Celebration - Saying "F YOU" to 2009

Wow, I sure have been MIA haven't I?

People, I currently at this moment have 621 unread items in my Google Reader. 621 blog posts to read (and comment on) at some point soon. The Sopranos had me addicted and look where that lazy mafioso addiction got me. Getting up yesterday at six for work was so. super. painful. I'm sure you all felt the same! Mr Pug and I were actually in bed before 9pm last night.

Besides the laziness, I'm feeling half blogger's-block and half FREAKOUT! It's so soon... but I'm not really doing anything? That can't be good. Mr Pug just left today to spend a few days in Alabama for work. I plan to spend the next few evenings getting myself together, wedding-wise. Other March brides, feel free to twitter me, email me, or gchat me to compare notes!

In the meantime... let's tell you about my New Year's Celebration, shall we?

On December 30 I went spray tanning. Which, if you remember correctly, went really really well for me last time. This time? Call me Miss Pug Geller. I, like Ross, tanned UNEVENLY. Want proof?

I must have been standing too far to one side, because my left hand was orange (and VERY pigmented around the fingers!) I also neglected to spread my fingers, giving me WHITE inner-fingers, which you can kind of see in this picture. The bottom of my forearm was also mega-tan. However, my right side? Normal. If you stuck my arms together so you could see both forearms, one was tan, one was white. I looked like an oompa-loompa screwed an albino.

Luckily I had a little TendSkin on hand. Every hour (and a few times right away in the morning when I noticed) I would use a cotton round and scrub my left hand with the TendSkin. By NYE, I was fine. Still mildly oompa-y, but fine.

Buy this. I'm not joking.

Sugar scrubs don't work, lemons and exfoliants don't work. (For me.) TendSkin does. On any ingrowns too. So buy it now instead of waiting until you are screwed. I've seen it at upscale salons but you can also get it on their website or even on Amazon.com. (ps- it smells like an drunk angry leprechaun's piss but it's worth it.)

At 9:00 on the 31st, Mr P and I headed over to Broad Ripple. Our group of friends rented out a bar called The Casbah and for $55 each got unlimited drinks and appetizers! That sure came back to bite me on the ass!

Mr Pug on a dare decided to shave his goatee but leave his moustache. So I only took like 11 pictures. However I have noticed that my blackout to photo ratio is inverse so that might have been a part of it as well. Ugh... he looks like a dirty man named Chester.

We all had a ton of fun, had far too many Casbah shots, danced, and brought in 2010 with a bang. This pic below is courtesy of Best Man A's girlfriend (the tan lady behind me) who graciously took more photos than I did. Note to self: never do an open bar again. Seriously, just look at me.

I said F YOU to 2009 and happily cheers-ed to 2010. Then 2009 screwed me by luring me to the open bar ("oooh Casbah shots are so tasty and not at all strong right?") and kept me at it til 3:00am. Mr Pug tried to remedy me with pizza but alas, it was no good. I prayed to the porcelein Gods that night. And again at 2:30pm January 1st. It was 2009's last stand... turning me against the pizza that I love. TYPICAL.

Seriously 2009? I get laid off, I'm unemployed from March until June, I worked FOUR jobs. (Taxes will be fun this year! NOT.) You cursed us with $3,000+ in financial issues, not to mention car troubles and home repairs worth thousands more. You saw our dream wedding flushed down the drain. AND- I only made it to Jersey ONCE. For like, 2.5 days. 2009, I'm sorry to be so honest, but you fucking sucked. (Cussing, I know, but this isn't really a family blog anyway...)

ONWARD, 2010. I look forward to all you have to offer. I feel like you have big things in store for us. 2010, I think you and I are going to be good friends.

Table for Miss Pug, Pity Party of One?

I'm happy with our new wedding "situation." Truly, I am. I still get to get married on 3/20, we still get to use our kickass photographer, I still get to wear my dress. And, really, we do still get to celebrate. Mr Pug is ready to move on, which you can read more about here on Weddzilla. That being said, Mr Pug expects me to be happy with what we have decided on, since we have decided on it and are moving forward. And let's be clear... I am happy. We're not going to be any more in debt than we already are (DIE ALREADY 2009! YOU NEED TO BE OVER, MONEY-SUCKING YEAR FROM HELL!) and we will be MARRIED! The most important thing!

Ok now that I've cleared that with you all... it's time for some sad, bratty, "why-me?" venting. Originally, my family dominated our wedding guest list and my side was going to be all fluffy and full and vibrant and Jersey and fun.

What is it like now? Well let's see. I went over my "family & family friends" list with my Mom a night or two ago. My family & family friends list was at 91. Remember, huge family, tons of cousins? Guess where we are for "definites" now?

I'm going to wait a second for effect.

Because it's that sad.

Nine.

Gratuitous sad picture here. Thanks for the sourpuss, Bugg.

Don't worry- it gets sadder. One of those 82 no-shows will be my Bridesmaid S. She was laid off and financially it won't work for her. And how can you NOT understand that? I am completely understanding about that situation- I was there! I missed a wedding I really wanted to go to because of my unemployment. But I'm still sad. She's the friend I've had the longest in my life and I'm sad she won't be there on this super-important-life-changing-day. Maybe I can make a life-size cardboard cut-out? (Maybe I can make them for ALL no-shows? And fill my side of the church? The side that was supposed to be overflowing and will now will be empty??? SCHEMES! I love them!)

To be fair, there are about 11 of the no-shows who my Mom said will be "not coming. I think." To which I said "OK THAT MEANS MAYBE!" But what it really means is my Mom is checking and they're "probably not" coming.

Of my twenty-five cousins? None. Maybe POSSIBLY one. She's on that elusive maybe list. They're the only true maybes- my aunt is trying to get 3 of her 5 airline tickets refunded so she and her daughter can come, but if she can't refund only 3 of the 5, they will all stay home.

From my friends, a few will still come, many didn't respond to my initial email, a bunch emailed me a "that's so sad we'll see you in the summer" type message basically saying they weren't coming, and a few were honest and candid about not being able to attend and were enthusiastic about the summer. This brings me to two issues: Mr Pug's friends & relatives, and our summer celebrations.

Regarding Mr Pugs' friends and family, they are mostly all here, in Indianapolis. Those who aren't here, were here previously, and have many family members and friends to stay with for free... unlike my friends and family. Which means, his side will be FULL. Not all will be able to come to our after-ceremony dinner, of course, but they'll be there at the church. They get to experience the wedding because they live here, or because they can easily get here. Life isn't fair, I know, yada yada, but it still makes me jealous and sad!

And the summer celebrations. Plural. Two. One for Indiana and one for New Jersey, which is pretty much one for Mr Pug's family and friends and one for mine. They won't all get to meet. None of my friends will fall madly in love with a Midwestern boy and live happily ever after growing corn on the Jersey shore.

Additionally... I'm not sure how seriously people will take them. They're backyard parties. I want people to be summer-dressy... sundresses and khakis, that sort of thing. I want people to put it on their calendar... not leave early for some other occasion. ZERO of my friends from New Jersey are engaged or married. I don't think it's a priority for some people at 24 years old... they don't get the same wedding excitement that I do. Which is totally fine. It might just be because I live far away, but the enthusiasm for my wedding hasn't much come out of the Garden State. Maybe if I lived there it would be different. And this could just be me playing the world's tiniest violin while crying inside and being a big baby. But I just feel like it will get the blow off from some people, which makes me sad. Hell, my Aunt did the same thing... the one Aunt who doesn't live in New Jersey, she lives in Arizona. Cool Aunt. And Cool Aunt got married in AZ, but had a backyard "reception" in New Jersey. I did not attend, since I had gotten a bad haircut that day.

I'm not even joking.

I was in middle school, so yea, I've matured a tad bit, but had it been a "real" wedding reception that evening, at a reception venue, would I have gotten out of it because of a bad haircut? Something to think about.

Ok that's enough whining for one day. Seacrest, OUT.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changesssss...

This is such a hard entry for me to write!

Thanksgiving was, well, a bust. I won't even go into the family drama but there were fights- about everything and anything, between the whole family and between just one or two people. Mr Pug was angered and made comments about how frustrating being around his family was, and that he wished we were just going to Vegas instead of having a big wedding that they would attend. FMIL pushed the issue, as if that was a good idea. Long story short, she told us she was not going to be giving us the monetary gift towards the wedding that she and her partner had promised. (I wrote about it on Weddingbee here since I wanted to vent but couldn't blog until I notified guests... just have to shout out for the support I got from the girls on there.)

Why the "take-back?" It's not clear. It's not that she doesn't "want to," but it seems to be about finances and personal issues. It's not right that she waited until 112 days before the wedding to tell us, after the STD's went out, and after some people had booked flights. Some things were said that made me upset but ultimately, Mr Pug and I had to and have to deal with this. Without the money we were promised, we knew we'd be unable to make ends meet for our wedding.

On his end, there was a lot of anger, frustration. Partly with his family and partly with the stress brought on by the wedding. On my end, there were lots of tears. And a lot of this:

I frantically searched for other options, VFW halls, Lions clubs, anything. I used my master spreadsheet for our reception venue to cut things. Even cutting the decorations and open bar wouldn't make it affordable. Part of it was frustrating though, because of that. Why should we have to pay the 20% and then sales tax on a meal? It makes sense I guess, but in our situation, it doesn't. Finally Mr Pug had an idea, that led to an idea, that led to an idea, and within a half an hour we had it figured out.

Our New Plan:

We are still having our ceremony as planned. Dresses, makeup, flower bouquets, PHOTOGRAPHY, organ playing, wedding party (hopefully!), and the works. After that... nothing.

Now, technically, we are planning to take our family and friends to dinner. But it won't be fancy and it has to be SMALL. We're not really openly sharing this news about the dinner with everyone. Our closest family and friends who can afford to will come to the ceremony, and then after RSVP's come in we'll invite the people closest to us to come out to dinner. It will be somewhat intimate and fun. Best of all, after that, we are inviting EVERYONE to hit the bars with us.

We're also letting people know that we'll have two casual, backyard celebrations this summer: one in Indianapolis, and one in New Jersey. That way, everyone can be involved this summer, and we can still celebrate with our guests. And... I get to plan two fun casual summer parties!

We had this idea on Monday, and then sat on it for a little while. I talked it over with my Mom (aka Wonder Woman, aka my ROCK) and she drafted an email to send family to let them know the change ASAP. I then worked off that and emailed my friends a similar message. Mr Pug will notify his family and friends soon as well, though they are much less affected (effected? whatever) by it as most of them live here or within driving distance. At least then they'll know that most of them won't be attending any sort of meal after the ceremony with us, and maybe some of them can make plans to go out to dinner together or to congregate at someone's house to continue the celebration before the after-party.

It was hard to email my friends... I feel horrible. It feels NASTY to say "oh we're having an intimate dinner after with pretty much just close family and the wedding party" (which I feel like could read as "we're doing something and NOT inviting YOU!") I also feel badly for those who booked flights and now may want to reconsider attending the ceremony, and would prefer to attend one of the summer celebrations. But I guess I can't let myself worry. If people want to come, and people can afford to come, they will. To something. And it will be because they care - which is what matters.

So is this still Miss Pug's "pawfect" wedding? Yes and no. It's not what I dreamed of as a little girl. In fact I haven't read wedding blogs since Saturday, it's too upsetting. A post about "which toasting flutes should we pick!?" made me want to throw the computer in jealousy. But we refuse to go into debt over an event, and we don't want to start our marriage out in debt. We already have student loans! We made a decision, and I'm trying to look on the bright side of things (like, perhaps, a casually Tuscan backyard celebration in NJ with limonata and lemoncello? Oh this is getting good! More planning!)

Up next? My super-wonderful crazy amazing invitation & STD designer Laurel whipped up a new "invitation" for me in like, hours. I can't wait to show you all!

Please Hold...

Well all... Thanksgiving over. And it was not without drama. So much so, that things have drastically changed in our wedding planning. I'm going to be figuring things out with Mr Pug in the next day or so (don't worry- still getting married!!) and then will update you all. It's been an extremely tough few days, so thanks for your prayers and patience!

Rehearsal Dinner Drama

We have probably played around with a zillion rehearsal dinner spots. (Rehearsal dinner hereby to be known as "RD" because I am lazy.)

We aren't formal people by any means, so our RD is not going to be a formal affair. Some RD's end up as fancy as the wedding, and that is NOT what Mr Pug and I want. Before I give you our "options," here's some background. One of our hotel choices is downtown, since many guests have not been to Indy and will be tourists while not doing wedding things. Our church and home are in the "Broad Ripple" area, which is northeast of downtown. There are fun bars in both areas, but we always go out in Broad Ripple. Our church is in Broad Ripple. Ok, debrief done, moving on.

Our first and favorite option was the Slippery Noodle Inn, a historic Indy landmark.

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Located a block or two from the downtown hotel we have reserved, it's a fun Blues bar with great music. However, it's icky and smoky. But our non-RD guests could meet us here after and we could all enjoy some music and drinks. So... I called them.

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Big N-O from them. They do private parties, but no one under 21 is permitted. MOH R and groomsman J (our siblings) will be 19. So that won't work! He said though that they'd drop the 21 part if the smoking ban passes in Indianapolis. Which he assured me it would, and soon, since we are preparing for the 2012 superbowl here in Indy. Mr Pug, however, heard the mayor on the radio this very morning saying he would veto it if it made it to his desk. So... let's not bank on this one, I guess.

Mr Pug actually was pushing for a Broad Ripple area restaurant. While it would be less convenient for our out of town guests (not walking distance whatsoever) it is a very short cab ride. It is also very close to our church and where we normally hang out. One of our favorite restaurants, Bazbeaux, is located right where all the bars are. Parking sucks, but it's a fun area.

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Bazbeaux serves wonderful original pizzas. We could just pick a few, order a bunch, and everyone is happy! Right? Wrong. No private parties, no reservations. Thanks a lot, Bazbeaux. I will miss sharing my BOT with everyone...

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Yes, that is my favorite pizza above. The BOT... Bacon, Onion & Tomato. Le sigh.

Mr Pug and I pondered what to do while at Cancun, a Mexican restaurant on a main street right next to Broad Ripple. That we visit so often they know us. And then a lightbulb went off... we could have it here! So I pulled aside my waiter and asked. He said they've done parties of 100 before... you just need to call the day before. So that makes me a little uneasy, but you know that they'll shove as many people in those restaurants as they can when necessary! (Have you ever been to a Mexican place on Cinco de Mayo? Then you know what I mean.) There also are not private rooms, but we're not doing it formal, so really, why do we care? We are just out to thank our wedding party members.

Since they don't have a website, I pulled a photo of what the food would look like... you know what you're seeing, delicious cheesy, meaty, corny foods... tacky tile tables and weirdly upholstered booths... a large strong drink...

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Although we'd stick with pitchers of these, we wouldn't want anyone to be too toasted!

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I can't decide if we should keep looking or stick with Cancun. It's amazing delicious food... but feels like a risk! I want to include information about the RD in invitations (for those who are invited to the RD) so I need to decide in the next month. I asked for suggestions on the Indiana board of The Knot as well. What would you do?

Peanut Butter Crackers

Growing up, I had a dirty little secret. I tried to hide it all the time but it was painfully obvious at family get-togethers or vacations.

I was (and well, still am) a horribly picky eater.

I remember vaguely my mom asking our doctor once if I was going to be ok, since all I ate was peanut butter crackers. She assured her I'd grow out of it. Which I did, kind of. I didn't eat meat from age two until a month before my 21st birthday. I can attempt a list of foods I ate during my grade school years...

Peanut butter on crackers (NOT on bread- that's gross), green grapes (not red), American cheese (and it had to be yellow), carrots sometimes, raisins, pasta with butter and salt (no sauces or anything in the pasta), plain cous cous or pastini (sometimes with milk in it), PLAIN PIZZA (and plain from the start... I wouldn't let someone peel of pepperonis and call it "plain"), waffles with powdered sugar (but not pancakes, and definitely no syrup), Cheerios, yogurt (but nothing with any texture to it like fruit on the bottom- had to be a flavored kid's yogurt or Dannon vanilla or lemon), plain or salt bagels, apples (without the skin, preferably with honey for dipping), and that's probably it. Of course I also liked sweets but what kid doesn't?

Picture proof...

Yea, that's me in a really cool dress. And I think I did my own hair. But check out my milk mustache, and my green grape / American cheese dinner. I can't believe I survived!

I also had (and in some cases, still do!) and aversion to fruit textures. See below:

Looks like that bowl is untouched. Red grapes? No way. And what is that, melon? Not a chance!

I grew out of a bunch of these dislikes. However, it became a real anxiety/phobia for me. I won't try foods in front of random people or even friends- I have to be comfortable and no one can watch me. At my horrible old job my boss grilled me about it at a convention dinner, and I started tearing up. The thought of trying new foods gives me so much anxiety that I shut down. (She later gave me an etiquette pamphlet for dinner events... thanks.) I've been brave and now I eat chicken, hot dogs, pepperoni, and bacon, as well as hummus, pasta with sauces (marina AND vodka!), apples WITH skins, things like onions, tomatoes (normal salad or pizza topping ingredients!), pancakes with syrup, all cheese except bleu and ricotta, and even "weird" foods like chicken sausage. Some things haven't changed though, like my dislike of any texture in my yogurt, aversion to strawberries, dislike of sandwiches on soft bread slices, or my prejudice against red grapes.

When I started dating, I kind of freaked out about my food dislikes. Most of my family and friends were understanding, but meeting someone new it's like having to admit a scary secret, but on your first date... while ORDERING food. Some guys were cool, some guys weren't. But all guys noticed. Mr. Pug has been great about making me comfortable to try new things. I want to be a "good try-er" but sometimes, my anxiety gets the better of me. This is coming from the girl who sat at the dinner table alone until bedtime- in the dark- since I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I ate my full portion of steak. We're talking a bite about 1/6 the size of a normal bite. So when Mr. Pug tries to sing the praises of a well-cooked steak, I have a hard time going along with it.

Usually it's not a problem for us since he is understanding, and I've been making small but steady strides. Every once in a while though, Mr Pug gets bummed. Once, we talked about trying a new tapas bar downtown, but Mr Pug was apprehensive since tapas = sharing, and he knew he'd have limited choices due to my dislikes. Last night, when we were planning meals for the week, he got upset while going through a cookbook and realizing he couldn't make a bunch of the recipes because I wouldn't even try them.

I feel horrible that this anxiety comes between us sometimes, and hope that I'll continue to improve by a few foods each year. But to be honest, the thought of liking every food out there is severely overwhelming.

Did you have a secret you were nervous to divulge to your significant other? Does he have something like this that he brought into the relationship? How do you deal with differences, whether it be tastes in food, music, religious differences, or something else?

Five Months! And Things I Do Different

Today is the 20th which means it's that time of the month again- COUNTDOWN TIME (yea, not that OTHER time of the month, no TMI's here!!)

I really can't believe we only have five months left. I'm freaking out a litttttle bit! There is still so much to be done!

Anywho, one of the things I may have mentioned but haven't shown you yet is my wedding day nail color. And... here it is!

Yea I just took that at my desk, don't judge.

The color is Vixen by Revlon. You can find it here, in the berries/wine section. It is more of a deep berry color- not really as black as it looks from my awesome cell phone camera. Although I will say the final product is a little more "Bewitching Bordeaux" (yes, more plum-like) than the color for "Vixen" on my computer monitor. I love how it looks with my ring... very vintage/old Hollywood glamor.

Whenever people compliment the nail color I tell them I'm wearing it for the wedding. Some people like this, others... not so much. But I really don't care. I might have been a french manicure girl in high school but even then I was edgy (one formal I got silver nails with a black french manicured tip!) and want to stay true to myself. This is the only nail polish color I wear and I adore it! I'll also be giving it to my 'maids for them to wear for the wedding. Living in North Carolina for college gave me my affinity for preppy argyle, polos and pearls, but nothing will take away that New Jersey edginess.

One other thing I realized that I do "different" by some peoples' standards is wear black to weddings. The dress I wore to my friends' wedding on Saturday (as you saw in the pictures yesterday) was this black dress from New York & Company. Love that discount!

While the grey version of this dress is slightly more casual, I think the black did a great job being semi-formal. It was also massively comfortable... as in I wasn't dying to get out of it by the end of the night. A rarity! I loved wearing this dress and will wear it again. However, when I went to pay, one of my managers (who happens to be the rudest one) was chatting with me about the dress and was SHOCKED to find I was wearing it to a wedding. She said "You'd wear BLACK to a wedding?" And yes, she spit the word BLACK out like I said I was wearing mud. (This, my friends, is coming from someone who wore a long, casual jersey-material maxi skirt with a embellished beater tank to a wedding this summer.) I replied, shocked, "Uh, yea, why WOULDN'T I?" She tried to laugh it off but I went on, "It's not like I'm wearing a funeral veil... I'll add colorful accessories." She still seemed put off by my decision. I feel like I see people wearing black to weddings all the time, especially evening ones. What gives!?

What are all your thoughts on color: Nail color for your wedding? And are black dresses wedding appropriate? Did I (or am I?) making any wedding etiquette poo-poo's? (Not that it would stop me!)

Gloomy McGloomypants

I'm having one of THOSE days. Where I realize there aren't enough hours in a day and days in a week, and that 95% of my life is work or sleep, and the balance is never, well, balanced. It's gloomy out and I'll be working 9am-9:30pm. That's never a fun day! Plus I can feel myself getting sick. Although a sick day might be nice right about now...

Anywho, I was browsing Weddingbee to cheer myself up, but only felt gloom instead. I had excitedly felt a connection with the newest bee, Miss French Fries and started reading this post about her colors (photo below from post.) Crisp white, black, and apple green. SOB!

Oh, but it gets worse. Someone mentioned the likeness to Mrs. Pomegranate. I decided to see for myself. Looky looky: (Picture from post.)

Adding insult to injury, Mrs. Pom linked to the similar colors of Mrs. Sundae. Who, I found through past post stalking, had multiple similar elements besides color. (Picture from post.)

Mrs. Pomegranate said, "I’ve loved following Miss Sundae’s wedding plans, as we are both green, black and white damask brides, but I know that ultimately we will have two very different weddings. This is something that is SO interesting to me: that two brides with the same exact colors can have amazingly different weddings. I guess it’s true when they say that no two brides are alike!" This did make me feel a bit better. I guess it stings to see people with "my" colors, since I came up with the scheme sans-Weddingbee, sans-The Knot, sans-anything. Just me, Mr Pug, and our visions. And I need to remember what Mrs. Pom said- it will be different. And better yet- none of my guests went to any of their weddings! And none of those weddings had subtle pug themes. Something for me to keep in mind.

My gal pal Katie posted about this before as well- so I know we're all feelin' it somehow. Your original idea will always be similar to someone else's idea- but without the internet, there's no way of knowing it. It's a blessing and a curse. What "copycat" ideas have you seen on other blogs and wedding sites? How do you cope- change your idea or stand strong?

It's not EDIY because not all DIY's are EASY.

I'm on DIY strike.

Mr Pug is in Saint Louis at a bachelor party for one of our good friends this weekend. I somehow was not scheduled to work today either. I figured, "ah, wonderful! A day to DIY!

Ha. Here's my schedule. 9:30-10:30 I ran errands (and took a pug with me!) around town. I showed, etc, and left to go to Michael's at 12:30. I then headed over to JoAnn's, then got pizza (crafting is hard!) and was home by 2:40. I crafted for almost 3 hours, then went BACK to Michael's, then BACK to JoAnn's... then home by 6:30 or so. Then crafted again till, oh, now.

This is the necklace I bought for my Bridesmaids.

It's from Target, $14.99. Tragically, I could only find 4. And then they stopped selling it. I e-mailed tons of friends to look- including my cousin who WORKS at Target- and nothing. Therefore I was a brave little bride and said, "DIY!" I couldn't find anything but the ribbon at Michael's (I decided on green- why not?) and bought it with a 50% off coupon. Then I got the pearls and string at JoAnn's. The pearls were a great match:

I used a needle to thread it.

First pearl in... "This is easy!"

Hmm... that's not right.

Not working out. Basically I couldn't get the ribbon to wrap right. It wasn't the right quality/thickness- it was too stiff and less silky- but it was the only option in the right color and size. I know a better ribbon wouldn't be available so I kept trying...

Yea not so much.

So that's the nearly 3 hours- me trying to make it work. I tried to just string the pearls on the ribbon but it wouldn't fit. So I realized I had to go try to find a thinner ribbon of the same color. I head to both stores and neither had one less than a too tiny ribbon in a too-bright color. But JoAnn's had a bunch more options. I decided to do pearls with green beads between, and then hoops on each end that I put the green ribbon through and tie it in a bow- making it adjustable length! I also bought myself a bottle of wine since I was prettttty stressed.

Here's the progress...

The beads up close.

Almost done...

DONE. (ps the ribbon color is totally off... it's much more apple-y in life and non-macro pictures.)

Here's a picture of it on, as more of a choker.

Afterward I make it looser and took a picture with my Mac to show the adjustable length.

I don't know if I like it. I guess I'd have to see it with their black bridesmaid dresses. I overthink things, so I don't know if it looks just simple and pretty, or cheap and childish. Mostly though... it's just not what I originally wanted.

Feedback? PLEASE?

For the rest of the night it's NCIS and the rest of this wine...