Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Award For "Best Supporting Role" Goes To...

I am starting to realize that we are going to need some more players in this wedding hoop-de-doo, especially now with our search for a Church going strong. If we are able to find a church, we will need about two people to hand out programs, someone to do a reading, and possibly some ushers (although our six groom's attendants should be good, unless our entire wedding guest list make it- then we might need 2 more or so). Additionally, I realize we should have someone to be the "guestbook person" to not only greet guests at the reception's guestbook table, but also to watch the envelope depository (that we have yet to choose). I hear horror stories from knotties, bees, and even vendors about this, so having a dependable person there would make me feel a ton better.

But who to include in our supporting roles?

(Yea, I went there with Heath as the Joker... I couldn't help it.)

Naturally, one would assume cousins. Close enough to be important, but not always involved in the actual wedding party. Well ladies and gentlemen, I have 25. That I can think of off the top of my head. Mr Pug has a few- three guys, two of which are married with adorable babies! We could probably use them for ushers if we feel the need, and I'm sure they'd be honored.

I love my cousins so much and I don't really think I could pick between them. I'm also not sure that I could choose between friends. However- many of my best friends are Jewish- would you feel comfortable speaking at a wedding in a church if you are not a Christian?

Then there's Mr Pug's sister. Mr Pug's sister is no longer a member of the wedding party. It's a complicated and sad story. I never actually asked her to be a 'maid- she just went into the "I can't wait to be a bridesmaid what are we wearing!?" bit when we saw her the day we got engaged, Christmas Eve. Which was fine- I had planned on it. But she's the only girl in five kids, and tends to always demand attention think she's right- which has always rubbed her brothers the wrong way. A problem occured in her life and I tried to help, and got rude responses. Long story short I expressed that her responses were rude and I was trying to help, in response she flipped out, and stopped talking to me. We've tried to resolve it, but she cannot get past what I did that "hurt her," and is unable to apologize for any of her own actions. She says she "left" the wedding, all I know is that after she said some rude remarks about our wedding I simply took her off the website. In any case, it's not healthy to deal with that drama while planning a wedding! I didn't like feeling that I couldn't trust her to be a good bridesmaid. Mr Pug is completely supportive of not having her in the wedding, since he- to put it bluntly- is not a fan of hers. My point? When I took her off the wedding site as a bridesmaid, I had hoped that we'd resolve this and that she could take part in the wedding some other way. As of now, it doesn't look like she wants to resolve things. Which is fine. We cannot see her involved in our wedding in any of the supporting roles we need, either. So that's another one off our list that MANY people will probably think should be on the list.

So who does that leave us? I honestly don't know what to do. If you were a friend or cousin, would you want to do a reading, or hand out programs, or be the "guestbook girl?" (Isn't there some fancy name for that?) How did you pick the people who filled your supporting roles?


  1. I'm planning on asking significant others of the wedding party to help out with these little tasks (like the guest book and handing out programs, specifically). Who wants to be sitting around by yourself when your "date" is busy doing other things? I probably wouldn't do this for a reading, as I think you want someone of specific importance to you to do this. I think asking someone who is Jewish to do a reading in a Christian ceremony is fine (though maybe make the reading non-religious/denominational?). I know that if a friend asked me to do a reading at their wedding I would be thinking about THEM not their religion. But, of course, if you ask and they aren't comfortable with it, they can decline... but at least you asked!

  2. We aren't having those roles with our out of the box wedding BUT I agree with Brittney, I'd ask significant others. At Rick's sisters wedding, myself and their brother's SO were program attendants, the brides hubby's brother's wife was the guestbook guru. Does Mr. Pug have any frat brother (or other friends) he's close to, but not close enough to ask to be groomsman who could be ushers?

    Also, I think the reader needs to be someone super special to you even if its someone already in the wedding party. No big deal have your MOH or BM or Mr. Pug's Best Man step aside to give a reading or even a family member. We thought about giving my mom a role as a reader, but decided with just 1 we'd just let our officiant weave it into what he's already saying. And I agree, don't ask just because of religion - if they aren't comfortable they'll tell you :)

    AND...that stinks about Mr. Pug's sis. You know I know where you're coming from - don't you strongly dislike (as Rick makes me say) when you can admit fault, but the other party can't/won't. It's super frustrating! She's probably just upset that someone else is in the spotlight instead of her. I'm sorry though :( Whatever yall do, don't let it ruin the wedding planning. Rick's family's action did and now we'll always look back on this time with mixed emotions.

    Ok, done ;) Thanks for the breakfast in bed suggestion on my blog today! You're so crafty whether you think so or not!!! :-D