Tuesday, September 29, 2009

When it rains, it pours...

Well, a roofer just left our house, and our savings are being depleted once again.

A little while ago we noticed our bathroom wall looked funny where it met the ceiling. It slowly got weirder and weirder- not moldy, but sort of... warped. We had someone look at it- it was leaking where our chimney connects to the roof. The roofers hadn't done a good job making the seal waterproof. Mr Pug's connection from work came today and gave us an estimate. Luckily, there is not mold, but of course that doesn't mean we can put it off!

I've been letting myself get really stressed lately. I have always clenched and grinded my teeth, but lately it has gotten to the point of causing headaches daily. I can pretend I'm not stressed- but my body cannot!

We have always been good about saving money, and emergencies have always come up that made us glad we are good about it. Unfortunately, we cannot save double now that we're getting married! The TONS of money we saved when we first got engaged all went towards living when I lost my job. Then the money we saved after that went towards some financial issues we ran into. Just as we are back to saving up- leaky roof! Things like this have me BEGGING for it to be post-wedding time. When our money can actually be spent when needed, without guilt or worry.

Each problem that has come along in the past year, we have been able to immediately solve (financially at least) from our savings. That is something that would normally make any sane person happy! But each time it makes me feel like we are starting from square one with wedding planning again.

Does anyone else feel frustration, almost resentment having to put money towards a wedding? Seeing friends whose parents pay, or hearing someone complain that they need to save two thousand dollars (gasp!) for their share, makes me angry. I know, I know- they are lucky! But how can you hear about a parent just giving their daughter 30 grand (this is a true story!) and then not feel jealous, and also almost hostile? I have this horrible feeling that, closer to the wedding, if anyone who was pretty much gifted a wedding so much as insinuates that something about my wedding isn't right I might flip a table in their general direction. So, so very Jersey of me. I am simply doing the best I can with what I have.

Please tell me I'm not alone!


  1. I love you Pugsss! Sorry you are having to deal with all of that... ever since my roommate walked out on me it's been a constant struggle even though Mr. Mojito moved in... we are struggling horribly and I know my body is suffering from it! You know I'm always around to chat when you want... and I can't help but laugh at the RHO-NJ pic, that has been my favorite season in a while... I stick next to the OC ones because I'm local around there so I'm sure you feel the same way about the NJ lol

  2. This is a GREAT post! Yes, we all feel that way, at least those of us other brides out there paying for their WHOLE wedding...I wonder if it was the smartest decision to make...constantly wonder about that. Especially since FI lost his job...but it was too late then to really back out of the whole shindig...

    I hope that things improve, that the roof gets fixed and that you get back on track with savings...it's important to us too, and I cannot wait for the day when every single spare penny doesn't go towards our wedding...

  3. Don't feel bad, darling. I totally understand.

    I'm trying my best to enjoy the wedding planning process, but it is so stressful. My dad died in '04 and the man my widower mother rushed into a second marriage with depleted her savings with senseless spending, including my inheritance. My mom can't contribute much at all, so we're getting about $3k from her, $1500 from his parents, and the rest is up to us. I've kept it to myself, but sometimes I resent that I can't enjoy all of this and let someone else handle the stress of the finances. It can be a bitch sometimes.

    You're definitely not alone.

    I am super sorry to hear about your roof. That really sucks. I hope things start to turn around for you soon. Maybe all you need is a good cry and you'll feel a little better. *Big hugs to you*

  4. Twinnie, you are not alone in your money stresses. Keep your pretty, pretty head up.

    Ten years from now, you will be thankful for how hard you worked to create the perfect wedding. You will remember your flowers, your favors, EVERY detail... and you will NOT remember that roof leak.

    Take it a day at a time! I know you can do this! xoxo

  5. Try to think more about the fact that y'all are able to take care of yourselves, instead of needing to rely on your families to finance your lives & decisions. Trey & I are also paying for all our wedding expenses, which can be tough with both of us working only part-time and him in school; I think that it's normal to feel a little down about having to provide all for your wedding, but I also believe that you'll be so much prouder of your day knowing that you two put it together & worked hard for it!

  6. Mrs Pugs we can so relate to this post! Just keep your head up and in the end the only thing that will truly matter is YOU WILL BE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER. In the meantime you could always embrace the case thing again lol! Just an fyi she is my fav RHONJ wife! You guys are in our prayers. PRONG79